"If we nail this, I'm talking about book deals, merchandising. We could be the black Kardashians. Don't you want to be Kim Kardashian?"
Director
Christopher Landon
David Harbour - Ernest
Anthony Mackie - Frank Presley
Erica Ash - Melanie Presley
Niles Fitch - Fulton Presley
Isabella Russo - Joy Yoshino
Tig Notaro - Dr. Leslie Monroe
Jennifer Coolidge - Judy Romano
Tig Notaro - Dr. Leslie Monroe
Jennifer Coolidge - Judy Romano
I've previously mentioned that horror can be a sort of "how to" guide when it comes to dealing with our own trepidations and fears. A well-made horror flick lets audiences know there's a way out of the horrific situations we encounter. In other words, we can apply tactics to what we have to the anxiety fueling situations we face in our lives.
Laughing helps also. Some of the best horror movies out there are comedies - "Zombieland," "Beetlejuice," "Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein," "Shaun of the Dead," "Young Frankenstein," "Little Shop of Horrors," and of course "Ghostbusters."
The movie "We Have a Ghost" dropped on Netflix February 24. It labels itself as a "modern ghost story" which I can appreciate. It also casts a group of well-known names such David Harbour, Jennifer Coolidge, Anthony Mackie, and Tig Notaro from...I have no idea.
Its director Christopher Landon's name is linked to some well-known horror titles. He was a writer for the 2007 movie "Disturbia" as well as "Paranormal Activity 2, 3, and 4," (2010 - 2012), "Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones" (2014) and "Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin" (2021). Honestly, I've only seen the first four "Paranormal Activity" movies and thought part three was the only scary and worthwhile film of the bunch.
Landon also directed "Happy Death Day" (2017) and its 2019 sequel "Happy Death Day 2U." I thought both of movies were entertaining and enjoyable.
"We Have a Ghost" is based on a short story called "Ernest" by Geoff Manaugh. David Harbour ("Stranger Things," "Violent Night") stars as the specter, Ernest, who resides in the attic of a rather ordinary house on a relatively ordinary block.
The Presley family moves in a year after the previous occupants quickly moved out.
Frank Presley (Anthony Mackie) is rightly skeptical about the house as it's selling for a low price.
The real estate agent tells him houses are simply going for cheap these days.
He and his wife, Melanie (Erica Ash) and their two sons, Kevin (Jahi Winston) and Fulton (Niles Fitch) still move in.
It doesn't take long before his youngest son, Kevin, encounters an apparition of a middle-aged man with a bad combover and wearing a dated bowling shirt up in the attic.
Rather than run away screaming in terror as any normal person would do, he starts laughing at the ghost's attempt to frighten him off and records this manifestation on his smart phone.
Kevin later returns to the attic to attempt communication with the ghost. The ghost manifests again and Kevin invites this entity to sit down and chat, which it does.
The ghost can't talk, nor can he remember anything about its life. The name "Ernest" IS embroidered on his shirt. So, that's what Kevin calls him.
Frank soon sees the video and creates a YouTube channel just to post Kevin's footage.
The video of Ernest goes viral and gains some media attention. Frank has Kevin called Ernest out again. When he appears, Frank gets more footage of Ernest for the channel.
Melanie finds the video online along with all the viral attention, and panics at having a ghost in the house.
Frank, however, calms her down and convinces her that the situation could be profitable for them, and make the family famous on-line.
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| Jahi Winston, Isabella Russo, and David Harbour in "We Have a Ghost." |
Kevin also meets his neighbor, Joy (Isabella Russo) who goes to the same high school as he does.
She's amazed he and his family moved into "the house of death" as she calls. She takes interest in the ghost and helps Kevin research the house and try to find who Ernest was during his life.
Both the online and media attention mixed in with Kevin and Joy's investigation into Ernest's history leads to circumstances no one could have anticipated.
As all this is going on, a CIA agent (or former CIA agent? Again...I don't know) named Dr. Leslie Monroe (Tig Notaro) wants to resurrect (for lack of a better term) her old paranormal investigation program known as Wizard Clip. Its purpose is to capture and hold a ghost indefinitely.
Monroe tries to convince her superior that Ernest can prove to be dangerous and needs to be incarcerated. Of course, she won't call it "ghost jail" but the audience isn't stupid. We know what she means.
Anyways, while her boss at the CIA is initially unwilling to reinstate the program, he eventually does as Ernest grows in popularity. She gets to work immediately.
Monroe heads an armed tactical group of agents who rampage into the Presley's home looking for Ernest and turn the house into a base for Ernest catching activities.
When they do find him, they capture Ernest with their totally not-the-Ghostbusters-proton-packs ghost capturing guns and keep him locked up in a special ghost holding jail cell. Ghost jail!
It's no revelation to say that in movies and in reality, people are generally squeamish around bodies and souls when they're separated. People normally find dead bodies gross and disturbing. They're also terrified of ghosts. Stating this blatantly obvious fact is no revelation. I only mention it because the movie didn't even get that right.
Suspension of reality in movies is one thing. Still, horror comedies such as the those I mentioned above know this small fact rather well and use it to their comedic advantage. Even the Ghostbusters were terrified of the paranormal entities they encountered. How each character in "Ghostbusters" conveyed that fear is part of the movie's humor.
In "We Have a Ghost" Kevin's reaction when he first encounters Ernest makes no bloody sense. It's not charming. It's not even funny. He just chuckles as this ghost tries to scare him. From that moment on, the movie just gets worse.
As too many people are desensitized to just about everything these days, on top of being greedy and entitled as ever, I shouldn't act surprised that the characters in "We Have a Ghost" are written in such a way that they don't react to the extraordinary circumstances that fall in their lap. Their thoughts go straight to social media and potential profit. These characters are ridiculously bland.
The biggest problem is that the story seems to be made up as it goes along. First, there's a ghost that manifests itself to whomever happens to be around. In the story, proof of the afterlife is now present for all to see.
But the Presley's don't think much about it other than profit. The media, of course, are flocking to their house for a story. And the CIA takes over their house for the sake of finding and capturing Ernest whose palling around Kevin and Joy as they look into his history.
As Kevin and Joy conduct their investigation, they end up being declared missing. The police react by trying to arrest them which leads to an overblown police chase with guns blazing. Unless they're shooting at Ernest, the ghost?
Ernest tags along with Kevin and Joy, and is seen by everyone wherever he goes. He can disappear at will, and remain present but invisible when he choses. But most of the time while out and about, he remains visible. I guess he's the first soul in the history of eternity to stay manifested no matter where he goes. Folks out in public who see him act the way anyone would at seeing a ghost. They're scared.
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| Anthony Mackie as Frank Presley |
As the story builds up Monroe's efforts in catching Ernest, it seems the story is leading to a plot point that involves her past with Ernest during his life. Was she his daughter? Was she a family member or a jilted ex-girlfriend? Who knows? Her motivations are never explained. I guess she's just a CIA agent wanting to start her old ghost police program up again. In fact, her character is completely unnecessary. If she wasn't in the story, it would haven't made any difference.
The overall premise is certainly unique, but the execution of the storyline is a complete mess. On top of that, there's nothing funny in the movie. I didn't laugh once. Not even accidentally.
Of course, the entire thing is sprinkled with the "required" politically motivated platitudes that the writers stumble over themselves to insert. There's a reference to "stupid gender norms." In one scene, when Melanie takes issue with having a ghost in the home, she states that she doesn't want her family to be like the "stupid white people" in horror movies. There are the mindless trigger-happy white cops, of course. At this point, these ideology nods are like nails on a chalkboard. They're difficult to ignore. By now, such political pandering and mindless virtue signaling as seen in this movie is like product placement. The hack writers in Hollywood have to sell their political platitudes wherever they can, regardless of whether they fit or not. They stand out as forced and obvious.
The acting isn't much to talk about, either. As Ernest isn't able to talk, most of Harbour's performance is through actions and expressions. But that, like the rest of the acting, is lackluster and unconvincing. The only worthwhile performance comes from Jennifer Coolidge who plays a celebrity psychic. She, at least, could pull off a fairly decent performance in her supporting role.
"We Have a Ghost" is a big lose in the genre of horror comedies. I'm hard pressed to find what it offers the genre. Like Ernest, the movie is a lost soul that doesn't know where to go or how to get there.
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