16) Chopping Mall (1986)

"Absolutely nothing can go wrong."

Director
Jim Wynorski

Cast
Kelli Moroney - Alison Parks
Tony O'Dell - Ferdy Meisel
Russell Todd - Rick Stanton
Karrie Emerson - Linda Stanton
Barbara Crampton - Suzie Lynn
Nick Segal - Greg Williams
Dick Miller -Walter Paisley 

The shopping mall! It was the Facebook for teens of the 1980s and 1990s. Some malls are still alive today. Many others are dying, or dead. And speaking of "dying and dead," this movie is about teenagers dying inside a mall.
Evidently, the script for Chopping Mall took 24-hours to write. With all respect to producer Julie Corman (wife to horror director icon Roger Corman), the story line seems like something a 5th grader would have written during an in-class writing assignment. Somehow, this makes the film a little more fun.

Despite the gore, and exploding heads, and all but innocent teenagers taking over a mattress and furniture store to do their deeds on products that are going to be sold to the public the next day, there is an innocence to the story which adds to the horror of it all.

The powers that be at Park Plaza Mall have bolstered their night time security with robots. These robots are state-of-the-art. And when one of the developers utters the infamous line never be spoken in a horror movie, "nothing can go wrong," the audience knows everything possible will go so, like, totally wrong!

These three robots are equipped with tranquilizer guns, lasers, and other deadly weaponry for the sake of apprehending thieves and whatever riff-raff attempt to lurk the mall after lights out.

Meanwhile, eight teenagers are going to have a party at the furniture store where some of them work. All but two - Alison and Ferdy - have their night of sex, booze, and sex. Little do they know that lightening outside hits to mall, causing damage to the computer that controls the robots. This sends them into kill mode, and the mayhem begins.

First, they kill the technicians, and then they kill a janitor named Walter Paisley, played by the late Dick Miller.

Miller, by the way, passed away over a week ago as I write this. He is well known for playing Murray Futterman in the movie Gremlins which was released two years before Chopping Mall.
He also starred in Roger Corman's famous movie Little Shop of Horrors (1960) so it's no surprise to see him in a cameo as Chopping Mall was produced by Corman's wife. Miller also made appearances in Terminator, The Burbs, and The Howling.

It's worth noting that this isn't the first time Miller played the character Walter Paisley. He did so in other horror/ thriller movies such as the The Twilight Zone: The Movie in the segment It's a Good Life. In the same year as Chopping Mall, Miller was Walter Paisley in Night of the Creeps. And before that, Miller was Walter Paisley, the bookstore owner, in The Howling. He was also Walter Paisley in Gremlins Director Joe Dante's 1976 movie Hollywood Boulevard. And even before all that, he was Paisley in A Bucket of Blood (1959)... SURPRISE! - A Roger Corman flick!

And though Paisley meets his demise (death by robot) in this movie, Miller later played "Officer Paisley" in the 1994 made-for-TV remake Shake, Rattle, and Roll. Paisley had many lives. And he died a lot, too. He should be remembered for one reason above all the rest - he was played by the legendary Dick Miller. Horror fans will surely miss seeing him pop up in the movies.

Back in the mall, one couple (Mike and Leslie) leave the store, and encounter the robots. Mike gets killed, and Leslie tries to outrun it, but can't outrun its laser. Her screams get the attention of her friends in the store, and they all witness her head blow off. Nasty!

Everyone separates after witnessing her demise, and go their own ways. It's them against laser-shooting killer robots. Who will survive?

As I've mentioned in previous posts, the primary purpose of a movie is to entertain. The dialogue in this movie can be silly at times. The acting is below par. And the story line is comedic, and over the top. But this isn't the movie people watch for award winning acting. It's pure, imaginative fun - just what horror/ slasher audiences settle in for with a tub of popcorn.

Barbara Crampton, who starred in the horror film Re-Animator in 1985, plays Suzie. Paul Bartel also has a role in the movie. He's no stranger to the inner-circle working here. Bartel had a role in Joe Dante's movies Gremlins 2: The New Batch, Piranha, and Hollywood Boulevard. He might be more well known for his role in the 1982 black comedy Eating Raoul.

The movie initially had me rolling my eyes. I mean, robots shoot lasers to protect a shopping mall. But I quickly grew into it. Watching these robots chase people around in a mall of all places kept me in suspense. Chopping Mall, with its cast and story line, is like a small, underrated, loving ode to the horror genre.

Maybe there's a lesson to be learned in a story about eight teenagers running through a dark, empty mall, trying to escape doom! Otherwise, it's a great piece of nostalgia. It hits the horror movie spot.