198) Dracula's Daughter (1936)

Son of Halloween 2024's spectacular and not random vampire movie review extravaganza! (Part Three)

"Be thou exorcised oh Dracula, and thy body long undead find destruction throughout eternity in the name of thy dark unholy Master. In the name of the oh holiest and through this cross be the evil spirit cast out until the end of time."

Director
Lambert Hillyer

Cast
Gloria Holden - Countess Marya Zaleska
Otto Kruger - Dr. Jeffrey Garth
Marguerite Churchill - Janet Blake
Irving Pichel - Sandor
Halliwell Hobbes - Hawkins
Billy Bevan - Albert
Nan Grey - Lili
Hedda Hopper - Lady Esme Hammond
Edward Van Sloan - Prof. Van Helsing

Picking up right were Tod Browning's "Dracula" left off, "Dracula's Daughter" (1936) is a direct sequel to the 1931 horror classic which I last reviewed. 

In this movie, Van Helsing just steaked Dracula through his heart as seen in the last movie.

The police are called to Carfax Abbey where Van Helsing (played again by Edward Van Sloan) admits to killing Count Dracula. He's immediately arrested and taken to Scotland Yard.

There, he discusses his situation with Sir Basil Humphrey of Scotland Yard (Gilbert Emery) admitting that he did in fact kill Count Dracula. There's just one small snag. Dracula has been dead for 500 years. 

So, Van Helsing can't be charged with murder. 

That works in his favor, obviously. Van Helsing seeks the aid of a former student of his who's now a psychiatrist, Dr. Jeffrey Garth (Otto Kruger). 

Back in Whitby, the place where Van Helsing was initially arrested and booked by Scotland Yard, Constable Albert is left in charge at the prison where recovered bodies are being kept, while Sgt. Wilkes (E.E. Clive) goes out to meet an officer.
Countess Marya Zaleska (Gloria Holden) shows up in an attempt to steal Dracula's body. Why? Because she's Count Dracula's daughter!

Gloria Holden and Irving Pichel in "Dracula's Daughter."

Zaleska hypnotizes him with a dazzling ring she's wearing. 

She has her servant and muscle, Sandor (Irving Pichel), retrieve Dracula's body. 

She then makes a pyre to burn Dracula's body hoping it'll end her vampire curse. 

But Sandor discourages her from going through with it claiming all she has in her eyes is "death."

Zaleska is then left with nothing but her insatiable thirst for blood. She goes out into the night looking for a new victim. Deep down, she doesn't want to be a vampire. This is the curse of the situation. 

Later, she attends a fancy party where she meets Dr. Garth. She asks the doctor about overcoming some influences she's coping with that are coming from the afterlife - referring to her vampire curse thanks to Dracula. 

Garth thinks she needs to confront those urges. Zaleska feels confident that her will, and the doctor's advice, will help break her curse. 

However, she resorts to going back out looking for a victim. And in no time, Sandro finds an innocent young girl for Zaleska to feed on. He tells this young lady named Lili (Nan Grey) that Zaleska will offer her food, money and warmth if she'll pose for a painting his mistress is creating. 

Lili agrees and he takes her back to Zaleska's place. 

Zaleska tries to resist attacking her, but she can't and does what vampires are known for doing. 

Lili survives the attack - barely. 

Dr. Garth examines her under hypnosis. Lili squeals on Zaleska, revealing what she did. Soon after, Lili dies from heart failure. 

Dracula's daughter gives up on resisting those urges. As far as she's concerned, fighting them is futile. 

She kidnaps Dr. Garth's secretary, Janet Blake (Marguerite Churchill) in order to lure Dr. Garth to Count Dracula's Castle in Transylvania. 

Of course, he follows her there and offers himself in place of Janet. Just as she is about to attack him, Sandor intervenes. 

Lambert Hillyer directs with Edward Van Sloan returning to his role from the previous movie as Professor Van Helsing. 

One of the more iconic scenes in "Dracula's Daughter" with
Nan Grey (left) as Lili.

"Dracula's Daughter" a horror movie a bit ahead of its time, especially with its inclusion of psychiatry. I don't know of too many, if any, horror movies from this period that uses psychiatry as part of its story like "Dracula's Daughter." 

Overall, the movie strikes me as a serious movie and sequel. It's elaborate in its setting and premise, and tries to be frightening, but it feels heavier in drama. It has a stronger taste of film noir, rather than horror. 

That's not to say I was bored or not entertained by it. Rather, I was really intrigued by this movie considering its story and the era it was made. It's definitely a noteworthy film being foundational in the genre of psychological horror. 

The writers didn't simply make a girl version of Dracula. She's no chip off the ol' block. She's a separate entity. As "Dracula" is a story of the dark side of human nature, "Dracula's Daughter" is a story of struggle between reason and passion, or concupiscence. 

There seems to be a lesbian undertone in this movie, particularly in the scene with Zaleska preying on Lili. The seductive scene has strong lesbian implications. However, it's worth considering that, like Dracula, the vampire as a general character whether male or female, thirsts for blood. Dracula has been known to kill men to consumer their blood. I think the undertone in this movie is more in the way Countess Marya approaches her. The film's tagline, "she gives you that weird feeling" takes on a new meaning, doesn't it. It's pretty bold for a film from 1936. It continues that depiction of the flesh against the spirit. 

"Dracula's Daughter" has a sophisticated style to it rather than being some campy Dracula sequel. Maybe it tries to be too sophisticated. 

By the way, the 2024 movie "Abigail" is apparently a remake of "Dracula's Daughter." In fact, the original title for "Abigail" was "Dracula's Daughter." 

197) Dracula (1931)

Son of Halloween 2024's spectacular and not random vampire movie review extravaganza! (Part Two)

"The spider spinning his web for the unwary fly. The blood is the life, Mr. Renfield."

Director

Tod Browning

Cast
Bela Lugosi - Count Dracula
Helen Chandler - Mina Seward
David Manners - John Harker
Dwight Frye - Renfield
Edward Van Sloan - Van Helsing
Herbert Bunston - Dr. Seward
Frances Dade - Lucy Weston

F. W. Murnau's German expressionist horror film "Nosferatu" portrayed the vampire for the first time so audiences could gaze upon the bloodsucking ghoul written about in Bram Stoker's novel, "Dracula." The movie laid an undying foundation for the horror genre. It was before all the modern tropes and depictions which Tod Browning's 1931 horror classic "Dracula" established. 

The character of Dracula, thanks in very large part to Browning's iconic film, has surely given horror cinema so much material and support unlike any other character in literary or cinematic history. There's so much that can and has been done with vampires, not to mention with Dracula's allegorical nature - the battle of the spirit against the flesh, good against evil, the devil versus God. 

Browning's film established the image of Count Dracula which has endured from decade to decade. Basically, Bela Lugosi is Dracula though the character has been depicted in various ways since 1931. Lugosi is Dracula, and Dracula is Lugosi. And if you say the name "Dracula" to practically anyone out there, images of Lugosi's character will come to mind. 

Like "Nosferatu" the plot of "Dracula" is based on Bram Stoker's book. Still, there are plenty of differences between both movies. To begin with, "Dracula" has sound. Not only do audiences see Count Dracula, they hear his soft but authoritative controlling voice and middle European/ Romanian accent. Perhaps sound is both a good quality as well as bad. With "Nosferatu" the silence gives the audiences' imagination more room to play. 

Lugosi's Count Dracula is an upscale wealthy aristocratic character with a bit of sex appeal compared to Max Schreck's Count Orlock who's more of an entity than an evil person. 

This movie begins as Renfield (Dwight Frye) travels to Count Dracula's castle in Transylvania on a matter regarding Dracula's leasing Carfax Abbey in England. 

When he arrives in Transylvania, the locals who fear Count Dracula warn Renfield not to visit his castle. 

Of course, he has business to tend to that can't simply be skirted based on the warnings of some superstitious locals. 

Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula in 'Dracula.'

When he boards the carriage to Dracula's castle, Renfield doesn't realize that Dracula himself is the carriage driver in disguise. During the trip, he looks out of the window and notices the driver is missing. Instead, he sees a bat guiding the horses. 

When Renfield arrives and enters the castle, he's greeted by the Count himself (Bela Lugosi). Little does Renfield know Dracula's true nature! 

After the two discuss the lease, Dracula hypnotizes Renfield and makes him open a window. 

A bat appears causing Renfield to faint. Dracula's three wives move in to attack Renfield, but Dracula forces them to get away and attacks him himself.

Later, we find Renfield onboard the Vesta sailing back to England. He's now become Dracula's slave. 

Dracula is onboard, too, hiding in his coffin. At night, he feeds on the boat's crew. 

By the time the ship reaches shore, the entire crew is dead. From the boat, Renfield is taken to Dr. Seward's (Herbert Bunston) sanatorium near Carfax Abbey. 
Now in London, Dracula meets up with Dr. Seward who introduces him to his daughter Mina (Helen Chandler), her fiancé John Harker (David Manners), and their friend, Lucy Weston (Frances Dade). Lucy is rather taken by Count Dracula's charm and appeal. 

Later that night, Dracula shows up in Lucy's room while she sleeps and drinks her blood. 

She dies the following day after a series of blood transfusions are administered. 

In the sanatorium, an out-of-his-mind Renfield has been eating flies and spiders, and whatever other insects cross his path. 

Another doctor pays him a visit - Dr. Van Helsing (Edward Van Sloan).

He tests Renfield's blood and discovers his bond to Dracula. Van Helsing knows an abundance of information on vampires. Renfield is agitated as Dracula calls him through telekinesis. Van Helsing presents Renfield with wolfsbane which agitates him even more. 

That night, Dracula intrudes into Mina's room while she's asleep and drinks her blood as well.

When the count visits again the night after that, both Van Helsing and Harker confront him. 

Van Helsing notices that Dracula doesn't cast a reflection in a mirror. 

Later, Mina sneaks out to the garden and meets Dracula there. This is Dracula's chance to finish her off, which he does. 

Fortunately, one of the maids finds Mina, and she's given Van Helsing's care.

He puts Wolfsbane around her neck as she sleeps to keep Dracula away. 

Back at the sanatorium, Renfield escapes but is caught and taken back to his cell.

Dracula drops into the parlor at Seward's house where Van Helsing is waiting for him. 

Edward Van Sloan as Dr. Van Helsing.

Dracula, pissed off, says Mina belongs to him and suggests Van Helsing better return to his home country or suffer serious consequences. 

Van Helsing calmly tells Dracula that he's planning on killing him by driving a steak through his heart.

This irks the Count even more. He tries to hypnotize Van Helsing, which seems to work until the doctor pulls a crucifix out of his pocket, which scares Dracula off. 

Harker finds Mina out on the terrace and goes to talk to her. She starts going on about the night, and the fog, and how she loves both. 

A bat starts fluttering above them. All Harker can hear is squeaking. But Mina can understand its commands. She attacks Harker but fortunately, Van Helsing and Seward come to his rescue. 

Mina knows what Dracula has done to her, and she tells Harker about it before ending their love. 

Van Helsing makes it his mission to kill Dracula. It's the only way to save Mina. 

"Dracula" is a movie that is rich in imagery and visuals right from the start of the film. 

This is early talking cinema. So, the presentation and style of "Dracula" feels like a recorded stage play. Hollywood was still learning the art of movie making back in 1931. 

The grandiose gothic sets, smoke, shadow, pacing, exposition, and general layout are haunting. It all conforms well with the camera work that seems to move through scenes like a creeping fantom floating through the rooms leading the audience to view the horror building up.  

Bela Lugosi brings a lot of mystery to the character. What is Count Dracula's backstory? What led him to become a blood thirsty creature? What pushed him towards demonic influences? 

In my eyes, Edward Van Sloan is just as quintessential in being Van Helsing as Lugosi is as Dracula. He's not impulsive or rash. Or, at least, he hides it well. 

Edward Van Sloan's Van Helsing knows exactly what he needs to do and doesn't let his guard down. He presents Van Helsing as a character with the duty to do what no one else can. Van Helsing takes on the duty because he has the mental stability.

Van Sloan returns as Van Helsing in the next Dracula movie I'll be review - a direct sequel to "Dracula" and released in 1936. 

Where "Nosferatu" is quite the ambitious undertaking, "Dracula" doesn't quite hit the same level of ambition. Instead, Dracula's presence turns menacing little by little through the movie. He starts off welcoming yet dark and deceitful. His true evil nature intensifies as the story progresses. Like the devil himself, Dracula works in secret - a quality of that evil nature of his. 

Browning's movie certainly made a major impression on audiences' decade after decade, nightmare after nightmare. 

The proof is found in every Halloween costume shop to this day. 

Browning uses both wide shots to really utilize the menacing and frightening atmosphere alongside close ups of Dracula's evil glare - windows to a soulless monster. Eyes can arouse the emotions their owner is expressing. In this case, fear and intimidation. These eyes are illuminated by an otherworldly light surrounded by shadow. They have the power to burn themselves into the minds of audiences where they can remain for years after. Audiences might forget the movie they saw years ago, but they won't forget Dracula's eyes.

This technique is used, funny enough, in the 1993 movie "The Addams Family" with the matriarchal Morticia Addams. It's more of a gag. A gleam of mysterious light is always across her eyes in each scene she's in.   

The darkness in "Dracula" is similar to "Nosferatu," and has a looming presence. 

Lugosi would nail this role so remarkably and memorably well but would only return as "Count Dracula" in "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein." 

Though "Dracula" had no musical score upon its release, the inclusion of "Swan Lake" turns it into one of the best and most fitting scores in movie history. 

196) Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922)

Son of Halloween 2024's spectacular and not random vampire movie review extravaganza! (Part One)

Director
F. W. Murnau

Cast

Max Schreck - Count Orlok
Gustav von Wangenheim - Thomas Hutter
Greta Schröder - Ellen Hutter
Alexander Granach - Herr Knock
Georg H. Schnell - Shipowner Harding

Ruth Landshoff - Ruth
John Gottowt - Prof. Bulwer
Gustav Botz - Prof. Sievers

Introduction 

This is my third year in which I dedicate the Halloween season to something monstrous and horrific (as far as movies go). In October of 2022, I watched and reviewed the first 15 Godzilla movies. And I called that set of commentaries, "Halloween 2022's Godzilla-Maniapalloza Extravaganza...For the Love of Godzilla. All Hail, the Monster King!
And then in 2023, I watched all the "Leprechaun" movies for "Halloween 2023's Somehow Leprechauns are Scary... Extravaganza!" Honestly, I don't know why I picked the Leprechaun movies, but I did, and I'm stuck with my decision. 

Now October is upon us once again, and I'm dedicating this season to... vampire movies! 

Dracula, the most famous of vampires, is a major pillar of the horror genre and a huge staple of Halloween. He's still a figure of intrigue that lingers from generation to generation.

In my review of "The Horror of Dracula" from 1952, I wrote about my introduction to Count Dracula during my youth when my family used to take day trips to the Cliff House in San Francisco. 

Anyways, I've already reviewed a fair share of vampire films in the past such, "Mama Dracula" (1980), "Dracula, Sovereign of the Damned" (1980), "Billy the Kid vs Dracula" (1966), "Vampire Burt's Serenade" (2020), "Vampire Circus" (1972), and "Blood of Dracula's Castle" (1969).

But there's a lot more movies out there when it comes to vampires. I wanted to have some method to my madness for this October's "spectacular and random vampire movie review extravaganza." I picked at least one vampire movie, popular or not, from each decade between the 1920s... to however far I get. My goal is at least the early 2000s. And I'm starting with what is perhaps among the greatest of vampire movies ever made. This is "Son of Halloween 2024's Spectacular and Random Vampire Movie Review Extravaganza!"

The Review

🧛

Max Schreck as Count Orlock in "Nosferatu."

Outside of Bram Stoker's 1897 novel, "Dracula," the 1922 German expressionist horror film, "Nosferatu" is the start of the never-ending vampire nightmare that has fueled the fear of darkness for millions world-wide for decades. This is the first film adaptation of Bram Stoker's novel. 

Though the word "Vampire" or the name "Count Dracula" conjures up various images resembling Bela Lugosi in Tod Browning's 1931 classic, "Dracula" with his pale face, slick black hair, black cape and Hungarian accent, it's F. W. Murnau's silent film starring Max Schreck as Count Orlok that sets the foundation as far as vampire movies depictions go. 

The story is pretty much similar to Stoker's novel with some differences of course. 

The story takes place in the fictional town of Wisborg, Germany where Thomas Hutter's (Gustav von Wangenheim) boss, Herr Knock (Alexander Granach) is sending him to Transylvania. 

Knock is a real estate agent, and he wants Thomas to visit with a new client of his who's interested in some property that's right across the street from Thomas's home. That client, by the way, is none other than Count Orlock. 

Before he takes off for Transylvania, Thomas stops at a local pub where he tells some of the locals about his plans to visit with Orlock. 

The locals are terrified to even hear the name, and they warn him not to go.

But Thomas blows off their superstitions. He also snatched a small book from the pub about vampires to read, which he scoffs at and disregards. 

His wife, Ellen (Greta Schröder) is distraught over her husband's departure, worried she may never see him again. 

Once in Transylvania, Thomas is taken by coach to the Count Orlock's castle in the Carpathian mountains. There, he's greeted by Orlock (Max Schreck) himself. 

During supper, Thomas accidentally cuts his finger with a dinner knife. Orlock, who has an insatiable thirst for blood, tries to suck his blood out. Disgusted, Thomas pulls his hand away. 

After, he decides it's best to turn in for the night. But the next morning, he wakes up with two small holes in his neck which he thinks are just really bad mosquito bites. 

Later, Orlock signs the documents necessary to purchase the house in Wisborg. While doing so, he sees a small picture of Ellen on Thomas's desk and comments how lovely her neck is. Weird! 

As Thomas continues his stay at Orlock's castle and reads the vampire manual he stole from the pub, things start to click. His suspicion that Orlock is a vampire begins to grow. 

That night, he tries to block his bedroom door but can't. Orlock approaches and slowly opens his door. So, Thomas hides under his bedsheets and becomes unconscious. 

Back home, Ellen, who misses her Thomas so much, wakes up and begins to sleepwalk. 

Her friend sees her and calls a doctor. Ellen starts calling for her husband and has a vision of Orlock looming over Thomas lying unconscious. 

Later, Thomas goes on a little exploration around the castle. He freaks out when he finds Orlock's coffin with Orlock lying inside it. Hours later, he sees Orlock piling coffins onto the carriage heading for the docs where a ship is going to set sail for Wisborg. Orlock climbs into the last coffin he places on top and waits for the carriage to depart. 

Thomas rushes home as quickly as he can, hoping to get there before the boat does. 

The sailors on board discover a ton of rats hitching a ride with them. Little do they know this is Orlock taking on a different form. 

By the time the boat reaches port, all the sailors are dead, and Orlock is all that's left onboard. 

He takes his coffin under his arm and makes his way to his new home. 

People around Wisborg begin to die mysteriously. Doctors blame it on a plague carried by rats. 

Thomas returns home and reunites with his Ellen.

She also seems to know that the vampire from her nightmares has moved in across the street. What a coincidence!

Ellen finds the vampire book Thomas has and learns that they can be defeated when a pure woman offers herself as a willful victim, and then kill him by exposure to sunlight. Soon, she conjures up a plan to take down Orlock before he takes anymore innocent victims. 

In his book "Classics of the Horror Film" author William K. Everson says, "'Nosferatu" was once aptly described by a critic as "a chilly blast of doomsday...." I've seen this label printed elsewhere but I can't yet find a source. 

However, this is the truest form of the story long before Dracula became a Halloween decoration. 

During World War I, as well as the war's aftermath felt in Germany in the 1920s, what's referred to as Weimar expressionism - a new way of looking at the world - grew popular and landed heavily into German horror films. Hence, German expressionist films like this one were produced. 

With meager budgets compared to that of Hollywood, German film makers looked to more simplistic ways to convey emotion, distinct and surreal atmospheres, and uniquely haunting stories in their movies. There were no lavish costumes, or towering sets, or mind-blowing special effects. Yet these movies left a large permanent impression in the minds of their audiences. Once seen, they couldn't be forgotten. 

Gothic horror quickly sprung from this new portrayal of reality, looking into darker, sinister characteristics of human behavior and the human mind. 

From this concept, films such as "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" (1920), "Phantom" (1922), and "The Last Laugh" (1924) were produced in this period and continue influencing modern horror movie makers today. "Phantom" and "The Last Laugh" were also directed by F. W. Murnau. 

With movies like "Nosferatu" everything on screen is used to add to the horror and fear. 

Fear is very much a visual. No words are needed to convey it to the audience. That's what makes these movies so influential and still very haunting.   

No scene is wasted. Shadow plays in practically every moment, especially in Orlock's scenes. The entire play is meticulously set up with no relief from the trepidation that wafts from scene to scene. 

This, mixed with the vampire's other-worldly dangerous and unpredictable demeanor, gives this silent movie its lasting power. 

The use of shadow is crucial in giving Orlock his nefarious and unearthly characteristics. Camera speeds also give him that supernatural quality. He may have been human once, but evil forces have taken over giving him demonic abilities. Angles and imagery inflict uneasiness. 

The way Orlock moves on screen, and glares menacingly at the audience must have been terrifying for audiences back then. His eyes remain wide open and unblinking as though he sees through your skin and into your veins and thumping heart. 

His scenes are ice cold and intimidating, especially when he roams the ship killing its crew one by one. 

Schreck doesn't play Orlock as the suave and sexy vampire that stems back to Bela Lugosi's depiction. Schreck's vampire is shown as the demonic ghoul that he is.

He is a monster both inside and outside, and that's what makes it terrifying. Even the name "Nosferatu" has an ancient supernatural and evil sound to it. 

The simultaneous stories of Thomas, his wife, and Orlock buying the house are intertwined. It's quite a feat for a silent movie. And there's a hidden clue or two that reveals Knock to be the slave of Orlock as Renfield is in the movie "Dracula." 

It's amazing how big of a presence Orlock can have in a silent film. His mannerisms and supernatural movements done through early special effects keep their impressive effectiveness. 

I love this movie for its atmosphere and for Schreck's performance. 

"Nosferatu" has managed to fix itself in pop culture distinct from the classic image of Count Dracula. He's still around. 

I watched this for the first time back in May, and images from this film have stuck with me. German horror expression has that lasting power. I spoke about it when I reviewed another horror film, "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari." Images in both these files are truly haunting in the truest meaning of the word. 

Schreck has an impressive ability to create a creature that is daunting and terrifying in all of his screen time. It's the stuff of cinematic legend. 

Schreck's performance is depicted in the 2000 film "Shadow of the Vampire" which tells the backstage story about the filming of "Nosferatu" and the suspicions the film crew had about Schreck based on how seriously he took his performance as the vampire. Willem Defoe plays Schreck in that movie, which I'm now anxious to see. 

Werner Herzog directed a remake in 1979 called "Nosferatu the Vampyre." It stars Klaus Kinski as the vampire, who is called Count Dracula rather than Count Orlock. Kinski also plays a vampire called Nosferatu in another movie which I'll post in this review series. 

It's also fitting I review this movie now as a remake called "Nosferatu," starring Bill Skarsgård and directed by Robert Eggers is scheduled to hit theaters December of this year. The trailer was released Sept. 29. 

No doubt a lot has been said about "Nosferatu." For an early horror movie, it doesn't hold back nor does it waste a moment to arouse both fear and a loathing for evil.  

195) Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice (2024) - NEW TO HORROR

"I've spent so much time talking to the dead, it's time I started living. I want to make memories with people I love, rather than be haunted by them later."

Director

Tim Burton

Cast
Michael Keaton - Betelgeuse
Winona Ryder - Lydia Deetz
Catherine O'Hara - Delia Deetz
Jenna Ortega - Astrid Deetz
Justin Theroux - Rory
Monica Bellucci - Delores
Willem Dafoe - Wolf Jackson
Arthur Conti - Jeremy Frazier
Danny DeVito - The Janitor

Spoilers ahead!

I can't say I'm a major fan of the 1988 supernatural comedy "Beetlejuice", but I enjoy it primarily thanks to its unusual style, and Michael Keaton's performance as the titular character. And it's a stand-out film in director Tim Burton's filmography. Now, after 36 years, "Beetlejuice" gets a sequel. That's the trend these days in Hollywood. Sequels to movies made over 20 to 30 years ago are all the rage now. I previously mentioned my thoughts about the first "Beetlejuice" in a post on my reaction to the "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice" trailer back in May. 

In recent years, Keaton has taken on more dramatic roles in movies such as "Spotlight," "The Founder," and "Dopesick" among other titles. The first dramatic role I saw Keaton in was the 2005 horror thriller film, "White Noise." All I remember about it was Keaton's performance. The movie was terrible, but Keaton nailed the role. 

He's also stepped back into some of his more popular previous roles - namely Batman as seen in "The Flash" (2023) whom he stars as in Tim Burton's 1989 movie "Batman" and its 1992 sequel, "Batman Returns." 

Keaton, true to his comedic form, returns as Beetlejuice - the "ghost with the most."  

Anyways, a Beetlejuice sequel has been an idea tossed around since the period right after the 1988 movie. 

One of those ideas sequel ideas bore the title "Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian." I believe deep, deep down that this actual sequel, released Sept. 6, is better than whatever the story idea was for "Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian." It's an assumption I think is safe to make.

In this sequel, Winona Ryder, Catherine O'Hara, and Michael Keaton reprise their roles from the first film.

Thirty-six years after the events of the first movie, Lydia Deetz (Winona Ryder) is suddenly seeing glimpses of the ghost, Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton) who tormented her family back in 1988 when they moved from New York to the small town of Winter River, Conn. Since her first encounter with the ghost "Betelgeuse," she says she has always felt his presence. Now, he's appearing to her.  

She has since moved out of Winter River and hosts a paranormal show called "Ghost House." 

Her boyfriend, Rory (Justin Theroux) is the show's producer. During a taping of the show, she has a glimpse of Beetlejuice sitting in the audience which causes her to panic during the show. 

Soon after, she goes to see her mother, Delia (Catherine O'Hara) at her art exhibit somewhere in Manhattan where Delia just received news that her husband, Lydia's father, Charles Deetz died in a plane crash.

So, they head back to Winter River, picking up Lydia's daughter, Astrid (Jenna Ortega) from boarding school along the way. 

Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder return in Tim Burton's "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice"
after starring in the first film 36 years ago. 

Back at the old house that once belonged to Adam and Barbara Maitland from the first movie, Delia makes funeral arrangements for Charles. Lydia tries to strengthen her relationship with Astrid, who's still angry and mourning for her father, Richard (Santiago Cabrera), who died during a trip to South America. 

Meanwhile, from the afterlife, Beetlejuice, who works at a recruitment desk job, is still trying to pursue Lydia and marry which he almost did in the first film. 

Beetlejuice is also informed by an afterlife police investigator, Wolf Jackson (Willem Defoe), who was a B-Hollywood actor during his life, that his ex-wife Delores (Monica Bellucci) from the mortal world is on the loose in the netherworld trying to find him. During her lifetime during the black plague, at which time she met Beetlejuice and married him, Delores belonged to a soul sucking cult and is now sucking the souls out of random ghosts as she wanders the afterlife looking for her late husband and seek revenge on him.

There's a lot going on in this movie. 

After Rory proposes awkwardly to Lydia during the funeral reception, Astrid rides off on her bike in anger. She doesn't care for Rory and deep down, wants her mother's attention instead of watching her chase ghosts.

While riding through town, Astrid meets a boy named Jeremy (Arthur Conti) who's friendly at first but isn't quite the person Astrid thinks he is. He reveals later that he's a ghost and wants to take Astrid to the afterlife so that he can return to earth. "The Handbook for the Recently Deceased" has a whole chapter on how to make that happen. He convinces Astrid to enter the afterlife by promising that she can see her dad again. 

So, despite her better judgement, Lydia feels the only way she can find Astrid in the afterlife and bring her home is by summoning Beetlejuice for help. All she has to do is say his name three times. 

When she does, Beetlejuice agrees to help only if Lydia will sign a contract agreeing to marry him. 

Like the first, the story is really centered on the Deetz family. This time it focuses on the relationship between Astrid and Lydia, as well as Lydia and Delia. 

Beetlejuice remains a side character despite being the titular character. Beetlejuice is certainly not overused in part two.  

(L to R): Catherine O'Hara, Jenna Ortega, Winona Ryder, and
Justin Theroux in "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice" relies more on its story than it does on its surreal depictions of the afterlife though it delivers in that regard because the afterlife is a crucial part of the story. 

There are multiple plot points going on at the same time. Thankfully, it's not confusing and it all ties well enough together. 

The sequel captures the same atmosphere and style as part one without straying too far into trying to be something all on its own. It's a story continuation and it doesn't try to be anything but a continuing story. 

It gives a few more glimpses into the story's version of the afterlife, and the audience gets some backstory about Beetlejuice while he was alive during the black plague. In the first movie, Beetlejuice already reveals he lived through the black plague during the scene when first meets with Barbara and Adam Maitland. It follows it by claiming, "And I had a pretty good time during that." In part two, we can see just what he meant by this actually sarcastic remark. 

Like the original, Tim Burton pulls a lot of inspiration from early German expressionist films such as "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" to create the movie's atmosphere. This is true for many Burton movies, and it's just as true for "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."  

Monica Bellucci's character is rather underused. She serves as an antagonist, and the only thing that makes her memorable to any degree is that she's Beetlejuice's ex. She's not used much, and when she finally confronts Beetlejuice, she's taken out by a sandworm. Delores should have been explored more as a character and as an avenue to explore Beetlejuice a bit more as well. 

In fact, a lot of the afterlife might have been explored more as it leaves the imagination wanting to know and see more about how things work in this depiction of the afterlife. Then again, I supposed it leaves the rest up to the audience's imagination. 

While Michael Keaton is truly back to form, his energy levels have slowed down just a tad. He is back to his classic comedic self, like the class clown at a high school reunion. His personality is the same, more or less, but his age isn't. 

Keaton doesn't give quite the lively performance he did in 1988. For a dead guy, Beetlejuice has certainly gotten older. That's not to say Keaton isn't entertaining and hilarious to watch. Though some jokes and gags are call-backs to the first movie, there's plenty of fresh material that got a lot of laughs which make up for the 36-year span. Keaton really picks up right where he left off. This is still very much classic Michael Keaton!

The character Lydia received some criticism from Beetlejuice fans for not being the angsty self-absorbed teenager Winona Ryder portrayed her as in the first film. Evidently, characters are not allowed to change within a 30+ year span. 

Monica Bellucci as Delores.

I appreciate her going from what I just described, to being a mom trying to be responsible and supportive of her daughter after suffering a terrible loss before the story begins, and still grieving over it. Astrid is angry at her mother because, well, she needs her mother and feels she isn't getting that motherly support. There's some good character development in there.  

Meanwhile, Astrid isn't the goth type like her mother was, but she is as morose and bitter as her mother was in her teenage years. 

Lydia had to cope with the loss of a parent who's replaced by someone else. Astrid deals with the same. So, like her mother was, Astrid has that angsty characteristic, too. She's an updated version of Lydia. And Jenna Ortega puts on a deadpan frustrated look making her a great fit for the role of Lydia's daughter. No doubt she borrows a little from Wednesday Addams, whom she plays in Tim Burton's mystery series, "Wednesday." 

Her presence in "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice" seems to also work as a means to pull younger audiences in and introduce them to the world of Beetlejuice. Seeing as how Ortega is popular among Gen Z audiences, it's only logical to cast her in the movie. 

I think I caught a slight reference to "Batman Returns" in Danny DeVito's cameo as an afterlife janitor as in one instance, he make a few grunts that sound similar to Penguin, whom he plays in "Batman Returns." 

Also, Rory seems a bit similar to the character Otho from the first film, played by the late Glenn Shadix. Both are similarly eccentric with clueless and awkward personalities. 

In this film, there's a few sequences that involve a "soul train" which takes souls from the afterlife to "the great beyond" whether it be the pearly gates or eternal damnation. 

Those waiting on the platform to board the soul train constantly engage in a song and dance routine. As unusual as it sounds, this part of the movie was, well, the most unusual. It felt contrived and out of place. Go figure.

The colorful vibrancy, the style, the comedy and the imaginative creativity is still there. Tim Burton is back to his roots with his style of fantasy, even down the stop motion animation like that used in "Beetlejuice." 

I think the September release and limited competition helped score the Beetlejuice sequel success with its number one spot at the box office, topping the domestic box office with its $51.6 million in ticket sales, according to the AP. International sales brought in an additional $28.7 million, giving "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice" a total of $264.3 million.

Tim Burton's latest sequel, even after so many years, does entertain and leaves the audience with memorable elements. It's a respectable enough follow-up to a story from 36 years ago. It has its own laughs and a good number of them! Maybe if they do a third movie, perhaps Beetlejuice should take that trip to Hawaii. They could take the franchise in a whole new direction. 

194) Godzilla Minus One

"Why did I think I could dream again?"

Director
Takashi Yamazaki

Cast
Ryunosuke Kamiki - Kōichi Shikishima
Minami Hamabe - Noriko Ōishi
Yuki Yamada - Shirō Mizushima
Munetaka Aoki - Sōsaku Tachibana
Sae Nagatani - Akiko
Hidetaka Yoshioka - Kenji Noda
Sakura Ando - Sumiko Ōta

Kuranosuke Sasaki - Yōji Akitsu
Miou Tanaka - Tatsuo Hotta

🦎 Spoilers ahead🏯

I've been looking forward to watching "Godzilla Minus One" since I heard about its release back in 2023. I also heard nothing but good things about it. Finally, I watched it over the weekend after re-subscribing to Netflix. And I can't get my thoughts written out fast enough. 

I tried to see it in the theaters but didn't get the chance. However, I did get the opportunity to see "Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire" which was out in theaters around the same time. It was alright I suppose, but it's nothing when up against "Godzilla Minus One." 

The former is an American Godzilla release. The latter is from Toho Productions in Japan, the movie company that initially gave the world Godzilla.  

"Godzilla Minus One" is the 37th Godzilla movie ever since the first film released in 1954. That number includes the American Godzilla movies. Otherwise, it's Toho Productions' 33rd Godzilla film. Both numbers are just as ginormous as the "king of the monsters" himself. 

Toho's last Godzilla movie was 2016's "Shin Godzilla" also known as "Godzilla Resurgence" which I gave very positive reviews for back in 2020.  

But "Godzilla Minus One" is the best Godzilla movie I have seen since watching the Japanese version of the movie that started it all along with its 1955 sequel, "Godzilla Raids Again." 

While I watched and reviewed the first 15 Godzilla movies, also known as the "Shōwa era" (1954-1975) for the 2022 Halloween season, I have been wanting to get through the following eras ever since, but 37 movies are a lot of Godzilla to sit and watch. 

One of these Halloween seasons, I plan to get through the following Heisei era (1984–1995) which starts with 1984's "Return of Godzilla." 

Perhaps I'll tack on the Millennium era (1999–2004) to that. I don't know yet. 
Anyways, I mention all of this because watching "Godzilla Minus One" makes me want to jump back into the earlier movies. This latest movie, by the way, is the fifth movie in the Reiwa era which starts with "Shin Godzilla." There are some animated films in the Reiwa era, too.  

I mentioned the various periods of Godzilla films in my review of the '54 "Godzilla" but I could talk about this nerdy stuff for hours!

So, this movie takes place in 1945 as World War II is coming to an end. Kōichi Shikishima (Ryunosuke Kamiki) is a kamikaze pilot who lands on Odo Island for repairs at a Japanese base. The lead mechanic, Sōsaku Tachibana (Munetaka Aoki) suspects that Kōichi doesn't really need repairs. Rather, he thinks Kōichi is trying to escape his duties as a kamikaze. By the way, Odo Island is a significant location in the first Godzilla movie. 

Later that night, the base is attacked by Godzilla without any warning. Godzilla suddenly appears without any buildup. I suspect if Godzilla actually existed, this would be how his attacks would happen. Sudden and completely unexpected. 

Tachibana orders Kōichi to shoot the monster from his plane as it attacks and kills the men on base. Kōichi gets in his plane, but panics and doesn't fire. 

Godzilla rampages and destroys, and Kōichi passes out. 

He wakes up the next morning to discover he and Tachibana are the only survivors of the attack. 

And Tachibana is livid at Kōichi for his cowardice, blaming him for the deaths of all the men which he thinks could have been prevented if he just opened fire. 

Kōichi returns home to Tokyo, which is in shambles from an air raid. He's scarred by war, and consumed with guilt for being alive when he should be dead. He quickly learns his parents were killed in the air raid. 

Fortunately, his small home his still standing.
Later, he encounters a young lady, Noriko Ōishi (Minami Hamabe), who is taking care of a little orphan girl named Akiko (Sae Nagatani). Noriko's parents were also killed in the bombing, and she rescued Akiko who's now an orphan. 

Kōichi reluctantly allows Noriko and Akiko to stay with him, though he's worried the neighbors will think he fathered a child outside of marriage. 

They continue to manage well enough and Kōichi finds a job as a minesweeper out at sea.
Little does he nor anyone else know that Godzilla is gaining strength from nuclear tests at Bikini Atoll around the Marshall Islands conducted by the United States.

Godzilla ends up destroying some ships heading to Japan along with the USS Redfish. 

The Japanese government asks the U.S. to help save some decommissioned Imperial Japanese naval ships. But the U.S. and Russia don't like each other much, so the United States declines to help. 

Minami Hamabe in "Godzilla Minus One."

Japan is on their own. The government doesn't want to stir up a panic, so the people of Japan are kept in the dark. But Godzilla is making his way to the mainland. 

When Kōichi and the small crew aboard the minesweeping ship he's working on are commissioned to sail to the Ogasawara Islands to try and slow Godzilla down, they attempt to do precisely that by releasing a mine into Godzilla's mouth and detonating it. The ship's crew quickly learn that Godzilla can regenerate and heal himself almost instantly after the mine explodes and nearly tears his head in two.

Bigger ships try to attack Godzilla, but they don't really achieve that goal. In fact, they fail miserably. 

Finally, Godzilla reaches Tokyo and the hell of war breaks out again as the Japanese are still deeply wounded by the turmoil of World War II. 

Toho has a long-standing talent of including well-written, sympathetic or tragic yet relatable characters in a lot of their Kaiju movies. Kaiju, by the way, refers to Japanese giant monster movies. They're not necessarily limited to just Godzilla flicks. 

These Japanese monster movies invite audiences to become invested in the characters more than the monsters they're trying to survive in the story. Of course, the audience wants to see these monsters destroy and watch them fight other monsters. And Toho certainly delivers often in that regard. That's why Godzilla movies like 1968's "Destroy All Monsters" and 2001's "Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack" were filmed. "Destroy All Monsters." by the way, is an early favorite of mine. And I mention the latter movie in particular because it has the best title of any Godzilla/ kaiju movie. It rolls off the tongue nicely and it speaks for itself. 

"Godzilla Minus One" wonderfully captures what previous Godzilla movies have done well, some better than others. That is, it centers on human relationships withstanding the most hellish and unbelievable chaos going on around them and having such chaos change people for the better. "Godzilla Minus One" nails this! 

I was completely captivated by this movie, its depictions, visual effects, camera work, emotion, acting, and what I walked away with after seeing it. 

By the second act of "Godzilla Minus One" the ending becomes obvious...sort of. In other words, the ending can go one of two ways. What direction it'll take, the audience has to wait until the end to find out. 

And the reasoning behind its conclusion is magnificent. It's a testimony to remorse for past actions and forgiveness when it's most difficult to give it. It's something I sincerely admire and appreciate. 

Godzilla rips through war-torn Tokyo in "Godzilla Minus One."

The visual effects alone are flawless! Absolutely flawless. Godzilla's appearance is superb. His presence on screen is stunning and believable.  

As soon as Godzilla suddenly shows up, the movie shifts. 

Altogether, it balances emotion with the intensity. It doesn't feel like just another Godzilla movie, yet it's a Godzilla movie right to the core! 

I was curious about the meaning of "Minus One" in the title. 

Director Takashi Yamazaki said at a 2023 press conference that, "The biggest [meaning] is how people rise up from a postwar Japan that is at zero, and then Godzilla arrives, making the situation even worse and more tragic.” 

Japan, a nation most familiar with the horrors of atomic catastrophes, gave rise to the King of the Monsters. 

Unlike the rest of the giant monsters before, namely crawling from the United States such as King Kong or the crab monsters or the claw, Godzilla is written as a dark allegorical social commentary. 

The first Godzilla movie is certainly a film that gives the world Japan's point of view when it comes to the horror of atomic warfare and the cataclysmic destruction it leaves behind. And "Godzilla Minus One" is a huge tribute to that 70 years later. Having the movie set in the aftermath of World War II was a fantastic and touching move.    

It's also a true nail-biting action-packed monster movie, and it still carries the true feel of a Godzilla movie down to the classic Godzilla theme. 

It's a perfect updated rendition of the idea of Godzilla and it's a awesome salute to the first film while not being a remake. 

"Godzilla Minus One" is the best Godzilla movie since the first film. That's not to discredit some of the other great Godzilla movies filmed in the last few decades. This movie is proof that science fiction/ horror can be something absolutely sublime, and that Godzilla, the King of the Monsters, endures! 

193) The Premature Burial (1962)

"Can you possibly conceive it. The unendurable oppression of the lungs, the stifling fumes of the earth, the rigid embrace of the coffin, the blackness of absolute night and the silence, like an overwhelming sea."

Director

Roger Corman

Cast
Ray Milland - Guy Carrell
Heather Angel - Kate Carrell
Hazel Court - Emily Gault
Alan Napier - Dr. Gideon Gault
Richard Ney - Miles Archer
John Dierkes - Sweeney
Dick Miller - Mole

Roger Corman's third Edgar Allan Poe movie, "The Premature Burial," which follows "House of Usher" (1960) and "The Pit and the Pendulum" (1961), is the first of two Corman movies that star veteran actor Ray Milland.  

Milland also plays Dr. Xavier in Corman's popular sci-fi movie, "X: The Man with the X-ray Eyes" (1963). C'mon...who hasn't heard of it? 

"Premature Burial" is also the first and only one of these Poe movies not to star Vincent Price. Bummer!  

In this movie, Milland plays wealthy aristocrat, Guy Carrell who mopes around his huge estate worrying about being buried alive. It's a fear that consumes his mind like a worm. 

He and his fiancée Emily Gault (Hazel Court) are going to marry soon. Before they do, Guy tells Emily that he, like his father, has a rare disease that can make people appear dead. So, they're relationship is off to a good start as far as communication goes. 

He shows Emily the family crypt and tells her that when was a kid, he swore he could clearly hear his dad screaming from inside his tomb. 

Emily doesn't know what to think about all this. Guy's sister, Katie (Heather Angel), doesn't think he really heard their father from the tomb all those years ago. She thinks it was his all in his mind, fueled by his deep fear of being buried alive. 

Regardless, Emily is eager to marry Guy despite his inordinate fear. 

And so, they do. 

During the wedding reception, Emily plays the tune "Molly Malone" on the piano. For some reason, this drives Guy into some kind of panic, which makes him pass out. 

Afterwards, his fear of being buried alive worsens. Guy's fear pushes him to build his burial vault with various devices to ensure he won't be buried alive. It's even equipped with a poisonous mixture that he can use as a final resort in case the other safety measures fail. 

This fearful fixation has Emily worried. His colleague, Miles Archer (Richard Ney) is also worried about Guy. And Guy is worried about himself.

So, he takes a walk along the moors with Emily where he hears someone whistling "Molly Malone" off in a distance. Terrified, he passes out again.

While he's passed out, he has a nightmare where he's
buried alive in his vault, and none of his preventative measures are working, 

When Guy wakes up and asks Emily if she heard the whistling, Emily insists she didn't hear anything. 

Well, she can't take this incessant fear of his. It's getting out of hand. She gives Guy an ultimatum. Either he gets over this out-of-control fear or she's walking. 

Much to her surprise, it works. 

Guy takes his super safe burial vault apart and comes back down to earth. 

And then Miles has to chime in and encourages Guy to open his father's tomb to see for himself that he was not buried alive. 

It turns out that doing this was a terrible idea. Seeing his father's remains causes Guy to pass out again...and not wake up this time. Do you see where this is going?

Emily's father, Dr. Gideon Gault (Alan Napier) examines Guy, and believes he died from a heart attack.

He can't move or speak, but he isn't dead. They just think he is. The audience can hear his thoughts as he hopes and prays someone figures out he's alive. 

Emily chooses to have Guy buried in the cemetery outside of his estate. 

Guy now finds his worst nightmare coming true. He's able to move his eyes. Since his casket has a window over his face, Guy prays in his head that someone notices his eyes moving as they lower him into his grave. But they don't. 

Shortly after he's buried, grave robbers dig up his body just as he is able to regain mobility. 

Now, back from the dead (figuratively speaking), Guy takes revenge on those who buried him alive. 

Like the previous Poe movies, "The Premature Burial" maintains a grand impressive, elegant,

Ray Milland in "The Premature Burial."

yet low budget Victorian era style, seen in his previous Poe movies that I find entertaining and amusing to watch. Its atmosphere and style remind me of Hammer Horror movies from the U.K. 

This movie comes across drier than it does horrific compared to the Poe movies before it. However, the fear factor picks up midway. Ray Milland is a fantastic actor with a lot of respected titles under his belt. I still miss Vincent Price in this picture. 

Milland plays a sympathetic character wonderfully well. When the horror finally turns on, he doesn't quite hit the frightening mark. He tries, but his performance in the scary half of the movie leans into the side of awkward. He has to carry the horror on his shoulders with his characters consuming fear of being buried alive. Milland has to bring the audience the fear and terror they came to see through his own expressions. And he works it, but doesn't quite make it there for me. 

But I still enjoyed watching this and found it worthwhile and entertaining. 

There's one line that cracked me up. I don't know if it was intended to be funny, but it had me in hysterics. 

In that scene, Emily asks her dad if he's enjoying himself during the wedding reception. 

He replies, "I never enjoy myself. I merely experience greater and lesser degrees of tedium, that's all." 

If I were Emily, I'd be sorry for asking. 

It's worth pointing out that Alan Napier is the same Alan Napier who famously played Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne's butler, in the TV series "Batman."

Despite its mild weaknesses, and slight underperformance, Corman maintains his haunting style with Poe's continuing theme of being buried alive. It's a theme seen in the previous movies, and other Poe tales. Watching "The Premature Burial" makes me anxious to get to his next movie in the series - "Tales of Terror." 

 

192) Hobgoblins (1988)

"The vault... I tried to warn you... those creatures... the vault... I tried... All my work! Thirty years, I have tried to prevent this from happening."

Director

Rick Sloane

Cast
Tom Bartlett - Kevin
Paige Sullivan - Amy
Steven Boggs - Kyle
Kelley Palmer - Daphne
Billy Frank - Nick
Tamara Clatterbuck - Fantazia
Duane Whitaker - Roadrash
Jeffrey Culver - McCreedy
Kevin Kildow - Dennis

Instead of watching the low-budget 1988 alleged "Gremlins" rip-off movie "Hobgoblins" on its own, I watched it on an episode of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" (MST3K). It's episode 907.

If it wasn't for MST3K, who besides a few basement dwellers who rented "Hobgoblins" on a whim from their local video store way back when on their mom's dime, would remember this lousy horror puppet show?

And it is a terrible puppet show. It's also proof that not everything from the 1980s is worth nostalgia. 

With that said, it's a real trip in the realm of lousy garbage movies to watch. It's quite a testament to sloppy movie making and careless writing. It's only thanks to watching "Hobgoblins" on MST3K that I thought to myself, "This is going to be great!" 

I mentioned "Hobgoblins" in my review of the 1987 creature feature, "Munchies" which I posted in 2022. It's a little monster horror film along the caliber of "Gremlins" and "Critters."

The movie begins as a guy named Dennis (Kevin Kildow), a security guard at an abandoned film vault, who goes exploring around the vault. 

He wanders into the vault area and a vivid fantasy falls on him as if enchanted by an otherworldly force. He imagines himself as a rock and roll star. In his mind, the fantasy is actually playing out in front of his eyes. He sees the lights and stage. But he doesn't seem to care that in his fantasy, the seats are empty. I don't know if that's a result of the movie's low budget, or what. 

Anyways, little does Dennis know that the fantasy is induced by a bunch of little creatures called hobgoblins. He doesn't know that he's about to be their next victim. Why they kill people, I really don't know. And honestly, who even cares?

His boss, Mr. McCreedy (Jeffrey Culver), finds Dennis's dead body. Instead of calling police or family, he closes it in the vault where the hobgoblins got him, 

Shortly after, a teenager named Kevin (Tom Bartlett) is hired to replace Dennis at the film vault. While showing him around the place he'll be guarding, Mr. McCreedy tells him never, under any circumstances, to go into a particular wing where the actual vault is. That means the audience knows he's going to go in there sooner or later. 

Kevin's one priority in life is to impress his girlfriend, Amy (Paige Sullivan). That's why he got a job in the first place.

After arriving home from his first day on the job, his pals Daphne (Kelley Palmer) and Kyle (Steven Boggs) are already at his house along with Amy. Spoiler - These are really useless people! 

Daphne is waiting for her boyfriend Nick (Billy Frank) to return any minute from the Army. 

When he arrives, Nick tries to show off by "demonstrating" weapons combat with Kevin using gardening tools. The scene is laughably drawn out, repetitive and completely pointless. But they go at it with gardening tools...for over two minutes! 

When Kevin is beaten by Nick, Amy is completely embarrassed and verbally berates him for losing at garden fighting. Again, it's all stupid. 

Nick's "victory" turns Daphne on, probably because he's failed at everything else in his useless life. Seeing him finally achieve something - anything - is just too mind blowing. So she and Nick hop in the back of his van for some...umm...celebrating. 

Then the movie shifts from this pointless moment to the following night as a burglar tries breaking into the film vault. 

Kevin chases the burglar inside and finds the forbidden vault. He goes in (everyone knew he would) thinking the crook is in there. 

He doesn't know until it's too late that the hobgoblins have been locked inside, and that's what he was really hired to guard. 

As expected, the hobgoblins escape, and some poorly written and non-sensical (in the truest and most literal sense of the term) events ensue.

Of course, the hobgoblins go straight to Kevin's house where his idiot friends are still hanging out. 

The usual gang of idiots try to fight them off. 

They attack Amy, and her imaginative fantasy leads her to a local hang called Club Scum. I can't make this stuff up. All the characters start having their own fantasies. Nick thinks he's back in the Army and starts throwing grenades around. He eventually catches himself on fire, only to return at the end with a few bandages and no burn scars whatsoever. Kyle is pursuing an adult telephone hotline worker who tries to push his car off a cliff with him inside. And Kyle is completely oblivious. Like I said... STUPID PEOPLE!

And the story goes from there. I really don't want to continue laying it out. 

All those classically bad decisions often depicted in horror movies only seem to fit in low-budget movies. This movie can't even get those right.

"Hobgoblins" is like a terrible homemade puppet show put on by immature teenagers with hardly any life experience. They got a hold of someone's dad's camcorder and filmed a movie just for something to do. 

Rather than make some sort of coherent horror movie, they amused themselves by inserting a bunch of titillating things, like babes and rock n' roll, that immature teenagers generally find chuckle at. And then they shared their little movie with all their buddies and high school crushes. Any coherency in "Hobgoblins" is likely accidental.

And the hobgoblins are as puppet-y as ever. They look like Mogwai's from "Gremlins" mixed with the metamorphized Gremlins. Regardless,  I've seen nearly empty milk cartons more frightening and concerning than these puppet-ty hobgoblins. 

The puppets from "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood" were more animated than these things.  

To ensure no one claims the movie is a Gremlins rip off, these creatures are attracted to bright light rather repelled by bright light as Gremlins are. But that doesn't stop them from escaping from a well-lit archive into the night. This minor plot points serves absolutely no purpose to the story. 

When it comes to low budget movies, being low-budget isn't necessarily a bad thing nor does it make a movie bad. In this case, Hobgoblins is hilariously poor quality. It takes its low-budget and just runs with it as though its reputation depends on it.

Hence the entire scene in "Club Scum." It's so on the nose and pointless. 

None of the actors even bother to try. If any of the characters are memorable, it's only thanks to their stupid decisions. 

Call it a gross oversight on the part of the director or just pure laziness. If I was around while "Hobgoblins" was being filmed, and I just wandered into frame, I doubt anyone would care. 

Aside from this movie, director Rick Sloan went on to direct "Hobgoblins 2" - a movie I didn't know existed until just now as I looked into what other movies he directed. 

Sloan also directed other such "cinematic masterpieces" like "Vice Academy," "Vice Academy 2," "Vice Academy 3," "Vice Academy 4," "Vice Academy 5" and I have to... HAVE TO... mention the crown jewel of his film menagerie, "Vice Academy 6." 

Some movies are so bad, they're good. "Hobgoblins" is just bad. There's no charm in it whatsoever. Checking out "Hobgoblins" via "MST3K" is the only way to see it. Watching it with Mike and his robot pals on the "satellite of love" is what I enjoyed most. The movie needed them to make it worthwhile.