155) Critters (1986)

"Call the Army! They're here!"

Director

Stephen Herek

Cast

Dee Wallace - Helen Brown

Scott Grimes- Brad Brown
Nadine van der Velde - April Brown
Billy "Green" Bush - Jay Brown

M. Emmet Walsh - Harv

Don Keith Opper - Charlie McFadden
Billy Zane - Steve Elliot
Lin Shaye - Sally
Terrence Mann - Ug / Johnny Steele

"Critters" is a 1986 sci-fi comedy creature feature that somehow led to a franchise with four sequels between 1988 and 2019. It also spawned a web-television series called "Critters: A New Binge" that premiered on the Shudder streaming service in 2019. It's a reboot to the original story with eight 10-minute episodes none of which I've ever seen it. 

That same year, the fifth feature film in the series, "Critters Attack!" came out. Actress Dee Wallace, who stars in the first movie, returns to the franchise in this fifth movie. So, evidently the Critters are still carrying on. 

I've only seen the first movie and the sequel "Critters 2: The Main Course." I know I've at least seen parts of the sequel. As for the entire franchise, it has never interested me much until now. One thing I do remember clearly about "Critters" is Raphael's reaction to it in the 1990 movie "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

"Where do they come up with this stuff?" Raph asks himself as he walks out of a movie theater that's playing "Critters." 

The movie starts out in space as a jail within an asteroid housing a bunch of dangerous criminal aliens called Krites. They're scheduled to be transferred to another space jail.

However, the Krites escape their prison and hijack a spaceship which heads towards Earth. 

The warden of the prison sends out two shapeshifting bounty hunters to follow the Krites and capture them.

These bounty hunters have studied life on Earth by tapping into television signals so they're well prepared. One of these bounty hunters named Ug (Terrence Mann) takes the form of rock star Johnny Steele. It's convenient for Ug because this makes him look 80s badass. The other bounty hunter can't decide who to transform into. 

Meanwhile, out in rural Kansas, the Brown family run a farm,
The patriarch of the Brown clan, Jay (Billy "Green" Bush) and his wife Helen (Dee Wallace) have a couple of teenage kids - Brad (Scott Grimes) and his older sister April (Nadine van der Velde).

Much to his dad's chagrin, Brad spends a lot of time assembling firecrackers. April, meanwhile, is preoccupied with her boyfriend, Steve (Billy Zane). 

Also living in this random Kansas town is former local baseball pitcher turned local boozer, Charlie McFadden (Don Keith Opper). He works as an auto mechanic while crying about alien abductions and flying saucers as foretold through radio signals picked up on his dental fillings. 

Late one night, Brad sees the Krite's spaceship hurl towards Earth, which he mistakes as a meteorite. 

So, he and Jay go to investigate. But little do they know what this "meteorite" really is. 

As they approach the crash site, they spot the furry and ferocious Krites feeding on a cow. 

They frighten the Krites off. These creatures are still hungry, so they go look for a meal elsewhere. They end up finding two police officers whom they dine on. 

The Krites then make their way to the Brown's farm where they torment the family in an attempt to make them their next meal. 

While "Critters" is a somewhat fun screwball horror flick, nothing about it is scary. It's not even accidentally scary nor suspenseful.

It's more about whatever creepiness it hurls at the audience, mixed with humor. That humor is found in the outlandishness of the whole scenario. Somewhere lurking in the cracks. It has a hint of creature feature satire. The creepiness, though, is mild and underwhelming. 

The audience is treated to some of the banter the little creatures have as they react to the humans they're battling. 

In one scene, a Krite finds an E.T. toy in Brad's room. 

"Who are you?" it asks the toy before it bites its head off in anger.

In another scene, when the Browns start pulling out the shotguns, one of the Krites tells another, "They have guns!"

"So what?" the Krite replies before its buddy is blown away off the porch.

"F_ck!" it exclaims.

The comedy still holds up.

"Critters" is often compared to the 1984 horror comedy creature feature, "Gremlins" directed by Joe Dante. "Gremlins" has much more suspense going for it. 

Speaking of which, I think the splinter in the side of "Critters" and its director, Stephen Herek, is the claim that it's a rip-off of "Gremlins." The latter did spark a monster trend in movies at the time. 

A post from "VHS Revival" claims Herek had a script for "Critters" before "Gremlins" went into production. After Dante's film was released, the Critters' script went through multiple revisions so as to avoid any similarities. 

Dante, however, recently said in a May 16, 2023 interview with Spencer Perry at comicbook.com that among the list of Gremlin rip-offs (i.e. "Ghoulies," "Troll," "Munchies," "Hobgoblins," and of course "Critters") Herek's movie is his favorite.
"Hobgoblins is pretty bad," Dante told comicbook.com. "To be fair. Everybody was trying to do what we were doing on less money. And I think Critters is probably the best one because it's got the Chiodo brothers and they have, they're very talented guys. But the editor of Gremlins was Tina Hirsch and she directed Munchies, the first Munchies movie and, uh talk about a low budget movie. I mean, they couldn't afford really any monsters. So the monsters are like clothing remnants. They, they don't, they don't seem to have any heads or tails or anything. It's just a bunch of clothing wrapped up and thrown at people. It was just not good."

The Chiodo brothers are three siblings who work as special effects artists. 

Herek, by the way, is also well known for directing the 1989 comedy "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" along with "The Mighty Ducks" and "Mr. Holland's Opus."

I think "Critters" tries to throw an element of surprise similar to the way Gremlins multiply by the hundreds when they get wet. In this case, the Critters shoot out stingers as a form of attack. It doesn't quite work out for Critters because they don't seem to do anything aside from hurt. These stingers knock out some of their victims. Other times, they don't seem to do anything at all. I guess it makes them a little more menacing as though the mouth of sharp teeth and bad attitudes weren't enough.

The Gremlins multiply by the hundreds... thousands...as a result of making contact with water. And water is everywhere. There's more to entice fear and interest in that scenario. There's only a handful of Critters in this movie which fails to surprise. 

Billy 'Green' Bush and Dee Wallace in "Critters."

Still, the Critters bear a mouthful of razor-sharp teeth, and burning red eyes. They're prison escapees from an asteroid space jail. They arrive by stealing a spaceship. That's quite a list of ferocious characteristics. That much might be enough.

The movie overall is as essential a Friday night popcorn creature flicks as they come. And it has a nice cast of horror movie icons like Dee Wallace ("Cujo," "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial," "The Howling," "The Hills Have Eyes"), Lin Shaye ("A Nightmare on Elm Street," "Insidious"), Billy Zane ("Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight"), and M. Emmet Walsh. 

By the way, if Hollywood ever makes a biopic of Ernest Hemingway, Billy Zane ought to be cast in the lead role. I see some resemblance there. Also, for those who didn't know, Zane's sister is Lisa Zane who plays Maggie in the sixth "A Nightmare on Elm Street" movie, "Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare." 

Speaking of faces, M. Emmet Walsh's who has appeared in over 200 movies and television shows, has a very recognizable face. He has appeared in a lot of well-known flicks such as "Airport '77," "The Jerk" "Blade Runner," and "Knives Out." 

"Critters" has a lot of the typical horror tropes. Before the audience gets a good look at these critters, the camera pans low to simulate their point of view as the creatures scope out the house. The Browns are a typical all-American family with a farming dad, his lovely wife, oldest teenage daughter and younger rambunctious son. 

Of course, such a horror story isn't complete without the phone dying and the lights going out. 

The layout is clearly absurd. The filmmakers were definitely making something here for the fun of it. Seeing the movie for what it is, it's an overall entertaining film that knows how absurd and fanciful it is. 

"Critters" has a rightful niche in the horror genre. It's a fun little movie the carries with it all the entertaining, though predictable, horror standards that have become a nostalgic trip to watch.

It has flesh eating escaped convict aliens from outer space. They terrorize a typical rural Americana family and trap them in their farmhouse. These little monsters take out their power and their telephones. And then the fun begins. Somehow, it manages to slip through the door to be a cult-horror classic. 

I'm including horror movie trivia into my posts now! That's fun, right? Either way, there it is. The answer will be in my next post...

Which of these two franchises has the most sequels - "Puppet Master" or "Child's Play?"